Music Discussions

Since Halloween is coming up, I thought it would be an appropriate time to discuss the Devil in relation to music. He, she, or it is certainly no role-model if musicians are to be believed.

According to My Life With the Thrill Kill Kult, "The Devil Does Drugs". KMFDM offers irrefutable proof of this in their song "Sucks" in which they play a voice mail from En Esch’s answering machine wherein Satan drunk dials him and leave a long rambling message. I’m seeing an intervention in the Prince of Darkness’ future.

I am unsure as to whether the drunk dialing incident was prior to or following the trip to Georgia. Although, Satan seems to have been drunk there as well given the propensity of placing crazy bets. Although, I suppose Lucifer might also have a gambling addiction.

Then – to top it all off – in a real lapse of judgement, the Devil starts running with Van Halen. For all I know, Satan will be their next lead singer. With their high turnover rate, it’s really only a matter of time.

I assume – but have no conclusive proof – it was during this this time period that Satan got that distinctive haircut that is forever burned into Beck’s thoughts. I have not seen it personally, but I can only presume that the decision for that particular style was also chemically influenced.

All of these facts lead me to believe that Satan really should "just say no". I can only hope that the Devil is at least using clean needles when shooting up. Otherwise, that would be one hell of a case of hepatitis.